Pop Music Exegesis w/ The Prince$$

WHOA - I just discovered “Rampin’ Shop” because it was actually PLAYING ON NYC RADIO multiple times (105.1 fm I think?), despite the backing track being ganked from Ne-Yo’s “Miss Independent” a year ago, and facing serious lawsuits ever since. When I heard it on the radio though, I was totally MEMORIZED by the completely unintelligible Jamaican lilting speech, combined with autotune, and - as I didn’t realize until the internet - the choppy censoring out of almost EVERY OTHER WORD b/c THE SONG IS SO DIRTY! My fascination led me to delve into the first of what I believe will be a long running series of song exegeses - or CLOSE READINGS if you will. Analyses. Here we go.

I love this song as I love my dirty songs, of course! BUT - I must say I am VERY unhappy with the anti-gay sentiment in the beginning of the song, if they are being serious - it seems so out of place in such a balls-to-the-wall go-all-out sexually explicit song. Ahhh, those dancehall Jamaicans. And Pon The Floor by fictional Jamaican Major Lazer is now so big too! (Though we know the impetus behind Lazer may also be ‘cause Diplo and Switch wanted to go to the beauty and warmth of JAMAICA to record an album - I mean, who can rep in those Philly winters?) (And p.s., “pon” means “upon” if what I just googled is correct.) But definitely some reggae Jamacian dancehall sexual vibes are starting to reach us in a way they didn’t before. It’s like our own culture & pop music is already sex-ed out - let’s go explicit w/ reggae! Ok, here’s more of my AMAZEMENT at “Rampin’ Shop.”

* The actual term “Rampin’ Shop” apparently coined by the vocal artist Kartel (!!) means the place to bang, like a bedroom

* “Daggering” meaning Jamaican dancehall term for super rough sex or (dry sex apparently, e.g. Pon de Floor video!), and the crazy implications for male and female power [e.g. “Stab Up Mi Meat” (!!!) by Lady Saw (!!!)] spearheaded a whole genre of songs and the Jamaican Broadcasting Commission banned them!

* The UPROAR and ban due to the inappropriateness of the song. Issues of translation into “English.”

* Spice (the female DJ/vocalist) defending the song & an intellectual saying “It’s special because it’s both a man and woman when a lot of dialogue like this is usually from the males and a few raunchy females.” …hmm…. Well, it is a nice dialogue rather than just a “cat call.”

* Best part of all … Kartel parlayed his fast success with the track into… none other than… A CONDOM BUSINESS! Called “Daggerin” no less! They even have a facebook page (I am now one of 127 fans) which features a COMMERCIAL video for Daggerin Condoms using his song (which is really Ne-Yo’s song) and the most poorly-produced old school “jingle” for the condoms to the tune of his lyrics in “rampin shop.” If this is the production quality for Jamaica’s top DJs I don’t know what the world is coming to…the video, the jingle, and the sound quality all come straight out of 1993. THE MADNESS DOES NOT END. “So far, two types of Daggerin’ condoms are in line for mainstream marketing. One will be called ‘Ramp Ruff’, and the other is ‘Timeless Daggerin’.” [source]

[SO CAN WE START THE LINE OF SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE VIBRATORS YET?! MADE FROM RENEWABLE MATERIALS LIKE BIO-PLASTIC OF COURSE!]

* I can’t believe I’ve spent this much time researching the background of a song. But I have the fascination of a newborn babe - discovering Jamaican dancehall (and dialect!) is a new world!

* The LYRICS of the song are still blowing my mind: “You are my mista, You are my miss” are the most tame lyrics and their musical-theatricality is hilarious in contrast with the lines that directly follow: “Kill me wid di cocky, Kill me wid di tightness.” Other key lines:

- “Deal wid yuh breast like mi crushing irish”… “Crushing Irish?!” I’m not even googling that one - just let the images form in your mind.

- Cocky. Just straight up. Call a penis a “cocky.” NBD.

- OK - the homophobia part is BONKERS! It goes like this: “[Kartel:] Man to man, gyal to gyal dats wrong [Spice:] Scorn dem” But the way they say it - over the most jammin’ electro beats that were like BUILT for gay electro clubs and fully autotuned & swoony - it’s like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! “Scorn Themmmm” they may as well be saying “Just Dance!” in all their Gaga for Equality gay glory!

- I am scared at this point to degenerate my blog into a further “close reading” of the lyrics for fear of our already annoyed more conservative relatives really getting upset. And I’m getting lazy also. But let’s just say - we thought music could not be shocking anymore. Perhaps it’s because it’s another language and culture - this song is a bit of a shocker. Read the full lyrics and listen to it yourself. And then…I encourage you to expand upon this close reading!!